


Last Young Renegade

by AnnaBliss13



Series: Mean Girls Musical Series [3]
Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, Mentions of Past Events, Set mostly after the plot of the movie and musical, idk how to tag this I don't have much information
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-15 00:17:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14780004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaBliss13/pseuds/AnnaBliss13
Summary: She was reasonably sure she was in love, but this wasn’t like the love she had experienced before.-A series of one shots based on songs from the All Time Low album of the same name





	1. There's a Ghost in the Back of This Room

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Abby here, posting on behalf of my writing partner Winona. This series will be made up all of her work, which she's recently been inspired to write (not to mention surprise me with) by listening to her current favorite band. She doesn't quite know how to work Ao3, but we share this account, so I'm posting it for her. Enjoy!

Regina hadn’t been on this porch for about five years, and it looked eerily more or less the same as how she’d last seen it. Slightly crumbly grey concrete, slightly battered plain white door, weather-worn striped overhang, mildly overgrown yet colorful flowerpots. It was as though she was suddenly twelve again, waiting for Janis’s mother to unlock the door and usher them in for dinner. She shivered despite the warm weather, trying to keep her composure. It was her first time visiting again after making up and nearly two months of dating, and it felt scarier than she had expected. Somehow Janis seemed to sense her nervous energy and squeezed her hand a little tighter as she fished her key out of her shorts pocket and fumbled to unlock the door. After a second she managed to swing the door open, gently pulling Regina into the cool, dark townhouse. For a split second Regina felt glued to the porch, but after a moment her feet began to move as she followed Janis inside the foyer.

Janis pushed the door shut with her foot and kicked off her boots, prompting Regina to follow suit. Regina barely had time to glance around as she unlaced her heels before she followed Janis up the narrow stairs and towards her bedroom down the hall. 

Regina hesitated before entering the room, glancing around as though she was a stranger instead of the girlfriend of the room’s owner. In truth, Regina was hesitant not because she hadn’t been there before: she hesitated because she had. Years of sleepovers, hairstyles, silly arguments, heartfelt conversations, and whispered confessions practically impregnated the space with a ghostly presence, as though Regina could feel the eyes of the two middle schoolers she and Janis used to be watching her from the still-familiar walls. She barely had time to take it all in: the colorful posters and artwork on the walls, the bright strands of beads along the window frame, the very used-looking, full-sized pride flag draped carefully across a chair covered in laundry. It was an almost-blinding cornucopia of color, the stark opposite of her neatly maintained monochrome bedroom. Somehow it made her feel wholly unwelcome; this room wasn’t meant for her. She felt like a fake, as though someone had scrubbed off a thick layer of paint and left her with new baby skin underneath, a fresh start, naked and vulnerable. She was still struggling to find her footing in this new and exciting but sometimes scary part of her. She had been repressing it for so long it had begun to physically ache, but sometimes letting it in hurt just as much. 

She was reasonably sure she was in love, but this wasn’t like the love she had experienced before. Love before had been power, the thrill of popularity, the relief of control as she felt powerless against the doubts that were gnawing away at her insides. Love was a blissful act she painted on her face and allowed to guide her actions. Love kept her safe when the real feelings came, threatening to bubble up and out and expose her to the school, to the world. Love was safety. 

What she had with Janis wasn’t safety. It was almost the complete opposite. It was risk and fear and humiliation and holding her head high against the stares. It was smashing expectations like glass on pavement. It was meeting their eyes and looking away. It was contradiction and relinquishment. It was like the white-hot blaze of fear as you fall just before you’re sure someone will catch you. Yes. That’s what this love was. It was a trust fall. It was both brave and trusting. It still took bravery to go outside, oh yes. But this was a different kind of bravery. This wasn’t screwing up your courage to put on the most ferocious act of your life. This was the bravery to bare your entire soul to the world. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Janis, ever the observer, who was carefully watching her hesitation.

“Earth to Gina? You there?” She giggled slightly at her own self-deprecating joke before quieting again at Regina’s continued silence. Finally, after a few more seconds with no response, she grabbed her girlfriend’s hand, pulling her steadily into the bedroom after her. Sensing her girlfriend’s tension, she reached down and grabbed her other hand in her own as turned to face her. Unable to look away, Regina felt herself reluctantly meeting Janis’s eyes as her girlfriend watched her, willing her to speak first. She wasn’t sure she would be able to without help. 

“Regina? What’s wrong? Is it something in here?” Now Janis looked concerned, as though worried she had put off her new lover by something she had done. Regina hesitated for a moment before choosing her words carefully. 

“It just…. I feel like someone is watching me here.”

Janis shook her head. “No one is here but us. My mom's working the evening shift at the ER and won’t be back until late. Even so, she doesn’t mind you being here at all. I asked.”

Now it was Regina’s turn to shake her head. “It’s not that, I mean… I don’t mind your mom. I like her. I’ve always liked her. She treats you like an adult.”

Now Janis looked a little hurt. “But… now I don’t get it. What’s upsetting you? No one is here. I know this is all new and scary and I  _ get _ it. But no one is here. It’s just us. We can be ourselves away from anyone who might see. Isn’t that what we wanted by coming here? If you’re embarrassed we don’t have to do anything, we can just watch a movie or something.” She still looked upset, but was clearly trying to make her comfortable. She felt a burst of guilt searing through her at the concern in her girlfriend’s eyes. She didn’t deserve Janis’s concern. She didn’t even deserve her attention. Finally, her growing guilt gave her the words she was looking for. 

“I feel like I’m still here… not  _ ME _ me, but like, me from five years ago. Twelve-year-old me. And maybe twelve-year-old you too. Like they’re still here, watching us. Like things used to be. But it’s not like it used to be. Things are too different. But I can’t make her go away.”

Janis thought about that for a few seconds. “I guess I can see that. A lot has happened to both of us.”

Regina nodded now that Janis was catching on. “I just… I don’t know how to face it. I don’t know why the last five years had to happen like they did, or why I did what I did. I just know I was scared as hell.”

To her surprise, Janis nodded vigorously. “I know. I did shit I ain’t proud of either. And I know we both still have a wide assortment of skeletons in our closets. We were enormous egotistical asshole jerks, not just to each other but to a lot of other people as well. And we still have secrets we’re going to keep and it’s not going to always be fun and pretty and maybe it’s even going to be kind of rotten sometimes because neither of us is perfect. But you’re kind of perfect to me, right now. And I guess all we can really do is move on from here.”

Regina felt herself blushing and did her best to stamp it down, to not get her hopes up. “But why? Why keep going? Why do you want to move on?”

Janis shrugged, as if not particularly bothered by Regina’s implications. “I don’t care about what you did, Regina. I just care about what we do.”

Regina hesitated, using a few seconds to digest and process Janis’s words. Finally, she looked up. “Thank you. For giving me a chance. Most people wouldn’t. Most people didn’t.”

Janis snorted as she let go of Regina’s hands to cross her arms over her chest. “I mean, we already know I’ve never been most people.”

Regina grinned at her. “True. Even if you don’t actually have four butts.”

Janis feigned offense. “Hey! You have NOT yet confirmed that!”

Regina wiggled her eyebrows at her girlfriend, playfully suggestive. Janis returned the look, and she had to hold in her laughter at how ridiculous they must look. Oh, how she hoped their younger selves would be happy. Maybe even proud. After a moment, she finally managed a reply. “Can we go downstairs? For now? Maybe in the living room or something?”

Janis nodded, understanding. “Of course. I mean, now that you mention it, I don’t really want twelve-year-old you watching me either. You were a real pain in the ass.”

Regina shoved her playfully. “Oh, will you STOP it!!” Truthfully though, she agreed with Janis. She liked this version of herself much better. She grabbed her hand in hers and pulled her girlfriend out of the bedroom and down the hall towards the stairs. Even though the house looked slightly different, it didn’t surprise her that she still knew the way exactly. She shivered again as they nearly tripped down the stairs, but this time it was her who reassured Janis as they fell onto the sofa. 


	2. Dirty Laundry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, story by Winona.

“Damn this! Damn it all! Damn the fucking rain!” Regina whined as she and Janis raced towards the safety of the porch overhang. Janis made it a split second before Regina did, having both the advantages of her height and the fact that she had probably jumped three steps at a time before, seeing as it was her front door they were hurrying for. As a result, she pulled Regina along behind her, their locked fingers preventing the latter from losing her balance completely as they steadied themselves, panting and soaked. 

After a moment to catch her breath, Regina decided she’d had it with being wet. Janis stifled giggles at her girlfriend’s attempts to wipe her face and bare arms simultaneously, her efforts not doing much to dry either, especially considering she was still holding Janis’s hand in her own. Regina glanced up in annoyance only to see Janis attempting (very hard, to her credit) not to laugh as she attempted to wring out her pale pink tank top, now almost magenta with the amount of water it contained. Finally, Janis couldn’t help it anymore. 

“Need a little help there?”

Regina let go of her girlfriend’s hand and scowled at her, balling the hem of her shirt in her fists. “I hate being wet, I hate wet clothing, I hate looking gross, and I hate being cold. Happy?” She continued scowling and had just started to wipe at the sodden strands of blonde hair that were stuck to her face when Janis reached up and intercepted. She caught her hands up in one of hers, using the other to gently clear the wet hair off her face. Regina closed her eyes as Janis finished carefully tending to her hair before kissing her softly on the forehead. Regina froze, savoring the feeling of her girlfriend’s dripping, rough hair around her cheeks and her careful hands cupping her face. After a moment, Janis pulled away.

“Better?” She was smirking and pushing her own hair away from her face now.

Regina tried to suppress the grin rising on her cheeks. “I’ll have you know I’m still soaked. Clearly, you can’t fix everything.”

Janis rolled her eyes good-naturedly before turning to unlock the door. “As you wish m’lady. Let’s get changed into dry clothes and continue this argument elsewhere.” Regina followed her inside and upstairs to her bedroom, which was even messier than usual, which was really saying something. Regina gaped a little at the clothes strewn everywhere in no apparent order. Janis noticed and blushed apologetically. “Sorry, I’m trying to pack all my winter stuff away. We usually have to put spare clothes in the attic because of the lack of space. It’s…. Coming.” 

Regina nodded, not really understanding how one wouldn’t have room for winter clothes, but Janis and her mom did have a pretty tiny townhouse and she knew they were trying to rent out their spare room soon. “No problem. Can I borrow a shirt or something?” 

“Yeah, of course! Just grab whatever you want. I’m going to try and detangle in the bathroom.” She motioned to her mess of bleached hair, which had indeed become quite the snarled mess. Regina nodded.

“Okay, be one sec. I’ll grab you a towel too.” She disappeared around the corner for a few seconds before poking her head back in and tossing Regina a clean bath towel. Regina nodded her thanks and began carefully blotting her hair and neck, taking care not to tangle her hair. Oh, did that feel good! She closed the door (even though it was only her and Janis home) and peeled off her soaked clothing, toweling her damp skin dry before wrapping herself up like she had just stepped out of the shower. She grinned to herself as she overheard Janis cursing loudly in the bathroom, no doubt trying to untangle her hair. She made fun of her every once in a while for her sloppy locks, but in truth, she loved her girlfriend’s rough, messy hair that never quite smoothed out, even between her fingers. It was one of the things that Regina envied about Janis in a good way: she was never afraid of bucking tradition and didn’t particularly care who judged her. 

Smiling to herself at the thought of Janis’s hair, she finally set to work scanning the piles for something dry to wear. Noting a pair of grey track pants folded on the arm of the corner chair, Regina grabbed them and pulled them on. They were soft and warm and would do very nicely. Dropping the towel, she scoured the room half-dressed, looking for a top that wouldn’t clash too badly. Hoping to find an athletic shirt to complete her look, she turned her attention to a pile of clothing under the window. After a few minutes of considering her options, she pulled out a light grey tank top with a faded pink-and-purple design. If she squinted, it kind of looked like mountains and a crescent moon. It looked well-worn and comfortable, as though Janis had owned it for a long time. She pulled it on, suddenly aware of the fact that she and Janis hadn’t shared clothes since what, early middle school? She shivered, aware of how the loose fabric felt against her cool skin. Suddenly there was something deeply intimate about wearing Janis’s clothing now that had nothing to do with middle school. 

She turned around to peer at herself in the mirror hanging on the closet door, and suddenly noticed that the shirt appeared to be covered with flecks of paint, dried and old but still clinging on, resilient enough to withstand the washing machine and many, many uses. She picked at one of the larger blobs near the hem, faded and yellow and rough, not unlike Janis’s hair. As she worked it gently between her fingers, Janis suddenly appeared back in the bedroom, wearing a clean shirt herself and scrubbing her hair vigorously with a bath towel, seemingly resigned to tangles forever. “Hey Regina, I was thinking-” she started to say, then stopped as she got a look at Regina in front of the mirror. Janis began to giggle. 

“Reg, why’d you pick that one? That’s my  _ dirty  _ laundry pile! That stuff should have gone into the wash, like, last week!” Despite her laughter, she looked deeply embarrassed at the sight of Regina in her faded, paint-flecked shirt, which she guessed she’d probably owned for a while now and worn many, many times between washes. Regina screwed up her face and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to look indignant. “Well, you didn’t exactly make your piles clear. How was I supposed to know your ridiculous idea of clothing organization?”

Janis shook her head. “No, you’re right, I should have made myself more clear. I was just surprised at seeing you in that shirt, that’s all. It belonged to this older girl from Art Camp I had a  _ major _ crush on at age fourteen. I was too scared to talk to her all week and I’m pretty sure she had a boyfriend, but it was my first real crush after I realized I wasn’t straight. I stole it from her bunk the last day of camp and wore it the rest of the summer. I think all the paint is mine though, I now mostly wear it as a nightshirt or whenever I’m making something.”

Regina felt a pang of jealousy at the thought of Janis having a raging crush on another girl and wearing her shirt to sleep and paint in. She then felt bad for wearing something that was obviously important to her. “I’m sorry. Do you want it back?” She stretched out the hem towards Janis, as though offering it back to her.

Janis shook her head and smirked as she grabbed the hem of the shirt, pulling her girlfriend close enough they were almost touching. She reached down to hook her middle finger through one of the thin shoulders, lightly pulling it away from Regina’s chest. “No, you keep it. Dirty laundry looks good on you."

 


End file.
